Titan Elementary
by BLAZIN TRAIL
Summary: An Attack on Titan elementary school AU. Enjoy!
1. A Terrible Mistake

It was the first day of elementry school for Eren and Mikasa. They were gonna be goin to Titan Elemnertry School bc Eren was obsessed with the video game: _The Wings of Freedom_in which you kill giant man eating huminoid monsters called Titans. Eren thought that if he went to Titan Elementary, he could be the one to kill all of the Titans. Mickasa, on the other hand, just wantd to get an edocation at the schoo bc it was rlly good.

"All right you 2, r u guys ready for the skool?" their dad inquisited the two young five-year-old-kids.

"You bet Pa!" replied Eren. "Ima kill all da Titns in dis here town after I lernt from dis skoo."

"I just wanna lernt" said Micasa.

"Oh shaddap Micasa," yelled eren, "Aint no body cair bout da lernin, its all bout Titns, TITens, TITiNS! AAHHH!"

"Woah Eren calm down," warned his father, " You kno how u get wen u think bout them titns." The man turnd down fo wat to Mikasa and said, "Yo if he get outta hand wit da whol titam thng den imma need u te giv dis to him." he handed her a needl. "itll calm him down i think," the dad said.

When the five year olds made it to schol, the dad realisd he made a horrbl mistake; he accidentyl gave miKasa the WRONGneedle.

"o no" he said upon realizin this fact "i accidentaly gave her the titin-shifting needl. what if he shifts into titan at school?"


	2. The School Bus

Meanwhile on the schhoolbus, Eren and Mikakas rode the bus to school. they waited for the yellow bus to stop at the stop to pick up their friend Armin from his busstop.

"Hullo frends," greated Armeen cherfuly, "I baked y'all sum Titn shaped cookes."

"Did u say…Titanias?" asked Erin.

"No i said Titns"

"Oh. So they're cookies"

"ya" said armen

"So we can eat them"

"ya" arman said yet agan

*erens thots* _If i eat all the Tians, then they will all die. Then i will win forever! Titns, TITns, TITANS! AHHHHHH!_

"Eren, are u alrite" Micasa axd.

"Armin, Gimme da cookes." said Erin.

"ok.. but der fer ereone"

"Gimme all da gadam cookes, now"

"Ok here" (sound effects) *GOBBLE GOBBLE GOBBLE* Eren 8 all de gadam cookes.

Armin startid cryin bc he hear Erin sed a bad word. Miksasa dug in her backpack n pulled out a loaf o' bread. she threw the loaf o' bread at erons head and he feel down because the bread was rlly hard and the bread hurt him.

"Miskasa! Y would u do that?!" eren yell in anger.

She burried her face in the red scarf n said "bc ur not supposed to be sayin bad words. u dont want me to tell on u, do u?"

ERern shake his head and say, "nOOO!" bc he know that mikakksa is a snitch nd he dont wanna get in turble.

Da schoo bus finaly arived at da schoo. Armin, micasa, nd eren al got off da bus. dey werlked in de grass wen al of a sudden some1 bleew a laoud wistle.

"Liiiiiiiissssstttteeennnnn UP! ya shity brats! WELCom to TITN ELEMENTARY. HEre at TITn ELemntrary WE DOnt ToLer8 NO BrAts. OnLY SHItty BRats. SO Y"ALL BETTer BE SHitTY. MY NAme BE Dot PIXIS Nd Im Hed oF DA DsciPlinAry CommITtEE. IF Y'all ShITTy BrAts STAHp ACtiN ShitTy. I WIll Be DE 1 2 PUnish u"

Erin nd Mikakaks and Armn where kinda scareyd but they got over it n walked on inside the skool. Inside the schoo, they saw lockers on the walls in the school. As dey were awalkin down the hallway, Erin bumped into some1.

The guy he bump into was rlly tall for a kinderegerdenr. He had lite brown hair. "Ayyy watch where u goin sucka"

Eren wass getin mad nd he sed "yo y dont u watch where UR goin?"

The guy, who was Jean, said, " ayyy u best watch who u get an attitude wit b4 u catch 5 to the face boiii."

Den armin came up behind eren nd sayd 2 jean, "ayy u best back off my homie if u dont want me tah hit ya wher da gud lerd split ya."

"AWWW dats it, i aint bout to let no ladie lookin boi talk 2 me liek dat! U wann go bruh. Lets go, LETS GO!"

Armin dint move.

"wat, r u sacred?!" axed jean, " White guy got no game huh!? YEAHHHH das wat i THOTTTTTTTT!"

"but ur wite" sayd Armeen.

"NaH Bruh im french. i got da french fries all up on my side. U dont wanna fite me when i got my french fries! just back up little boi! chek yoself b4 u wreck yo self!"

Miaskoa grabbd erin n Amrin nd dragge d them to the clasroom. "gais its time to lern" she tolded them as she threw the two back into the seats in the back of the classroom. all the other students entered too. and finally when the bell ringed, their teacher came in the classroom.  
"aight peasants, im yo new teacher nd today we gon learn bout shapes," the short man said. he looked at the chalkboard and the chalk write his name with chalk on the chalkboard. It wrote "LEVI HEICHOU" on the board. "k lets get started

**A/N: hey thanks for readin the first couple chapters! the update'll be out soon!**


	3. Shapes

"kay shitty brats, wat do u already kno bout shaeps" axed Lvei.

"I kno dat Jaegers head is shaepd liek a rottun peanut" sayd Jean.

"Dafuq u say hors face!?" ern yeled.

"AYE! STAHP!" yelled levei, "aint nobody got time fer dat! y'all start yellin one mer time, ILL feed u 2 da titans!"

"Titans! did u say TITANS!" yelled ern as foam cellected roun his mouth. Mckasoa notice da situa wit her kat-liek reflexes nd stabbed Eren!

Wiith the needl.

he calmd down emediatly. HE Looked at Misksasksa with a calm axpression on his face. He saw the needle which was still stickin in his thigh and he screemed bc he was scared of needls. "Ahhh!1!" ERen screamed b4 fallin on the ground nd falling unconscious.

Levy sighed, "frick" under his breath b4 pickin up the phone on his desk n callin the nurses' office. "Hello? Yea, one of my brats just fainted...no rlly, he literaly just fainted...no hanji, i did not kick him...CAn u JUST TAKE tHE BrAT ALrEAdy?!"

levi heicho groaned as he hung up. He looked at Erin's brat frends. "U guys r gonna take dis brat down to the nurse office now." Levi worte them a note and they left.

When arm nd misoaka nd ern arived at da nurse office dey saw many other childs in ther 2. the other childs all had booboos. Arm nd mikisa tryd to mak ern stnd up but he just fel on da tabl and got a booboo on his hed.

Da nurse hange den arrived nd nd saw an Erin passd out on da tabl he had passd out on. just den eren woke up. He told the hange that erethang wuz alrite and she let him leaf.

When dey returned to the room of class, Leivei was teachin da kids bout the drugs.

"listen up brats" said leive, "dont do drugs, you will get hi nd u will die. now erebody come up her nd get some antidrug pamflets". ereone got da pamflets but der was 1 probl3m, dey cudnt red.

Den leivi unouncd that it wus snack-time. Arm decided to be nice n he showd ereone his titn shaped cookes.

'whoa armonn those cookies look tasty!," said sasha as water drooled out of her mouth in hungry. Saashsa ws always hungry so this food looked hella good to her.

Anther boy named Connie couldn't agree more. "Ye armin r u going to share them wit us?"

Armin nodds, to which Connie replied with happy!

Armin look at Jeanmarco. "wbu guys; what do you think?"

Jean shruged as he ate a cookie. "There ok i guess,' he said.

but Marco has a different opinin on the cokies. "I seldom eat sweets," he said whil shakin his head, "So I'll have to pass on this one." Marco smile softly so armin dont feel bad.

Just then Eren cam and saw that Amin wuz sharin da cookies. Dis made erin very mad.

"Aminr, wat r u doin?" axd ern.

"hullo, frind, im just sharn des deliteful cookes with ereone." replid armn.

"I told you 2 giv me all dos titanias on de buss nd-"

"der called Titns" amn interrupptured.

"-_Titans, _but nows ur givn it to all these losers. U kno im d 1 whos supposed to kill the titanias-"

"TITANS" armn interrupptured agin.

"You kno what armn, SHADDAPP. Ima _kill la kil_l al de titans so gimme da gadam cookes NOOWW!"

Armn started cryin agin cuz ern sayd a cus word.

But alas! Levi herd eren say thi bad werd nd he sprint over to eRen on the other side of the classrooom nd kicked him in the stomach. eran cried out in payne bc this rlly hurt. "Lisen up shitty brat," Leivi saieded as Eren fell again, "i dont believe in tamin shitty brats like u wit words so im usin force instead. Now quite you'r cursin b4 i give u another reson to go baq to the nurs office.''

Eren cry a lil bit but he stop when Miaskaca came over and made him feel bettre. Then it was tiem for reccess.

Erevyone went outside nd had lots of fun. Shasha n Conie played in the sand nd made sand castles! They even put lil sticks on the castl as dechoration!.

Marco was playin hide Seek tag with krista and ymir (she was rlly bad at this game btw lol).

But drama was stirrin up at the swingset. Jean had shoveled Erin off the swing next to Annie nd that made erern maad.

Annie wuz so mad dat she did a bitch snap. as soon as she bitch snap her 2 cronies Reiner and Berrty. came up behind her.

"Annie, wats da sinch." axed Reiener.

"des dumaas kindegartnerds just bumped inta meh." ansred Annei

"dont wrry Anniei, we gotchu." said renenrie. Reindeer and berthole approached jean and da wilde ern nd said, "Ayyy kindegartnerds wtf u think u doin. diks be 3rd gr8er territery."

"AYe", said the wilde erin, "dems is fitin werds, dont start none nd der wont be none, ya got dat my ninja?"

Berthole and the power Reiner gat xtremly angry at the words cumming fum erins mouth.

But Errin was gettin rlly rly angry. He oculdnt controll himself. He was...LOSING CONTROL!  
And then it happened.


	4. Dagner

**So there have been a couple comments claiming the grammar and spelling needs to be changed. I'm not the best writer and I can't catch every little error I make, but please try to look past my mistakes and enjoy the story itself.**

He TURNed INTo a tiITAn! His neew titna form ermegd frum emence smok. Wen he wuz don emergin frum emenc smok, we had much surprize. He trund 2 Arm nd sayd,

"Look Arm, ive trensfermd n2 a titania!"

"god flippin dammit ern, there calld Titns!" said arm. Aftr herin dis ern startd to cry, big Titna tears. de tears wer so big wen dey hit da grund dat dey begin to wash the childs away.

Sasha was havin a problem: she couldnt swinn. Se held ontoher potate as a flotashion decive as she and connie floated away in erens' titan tears.

Mikasa used her scafrf to latch onto a nearby buildin nd pulld hersef to th top of building. she survayed the titan erin from the place of elvation nd sighed. She mustve given eren the WRONG NEddle! And now, everyone was in alot of dagner.

But what was she, a meer kindergratner, suppost to do? Miskas was startin to get anxiety as she took depth breathings. Titin eren was rlly startin to loose controll n she didnt kno wat to do. "Eren," she sed in her ushual stoic voice. "eren calm urself plzz."

eren titan durgon RAWRD in respond, n Miskasas hair blowd all ofer da plaece.

It blowd so much dat it blowd rite out of her hed. She sudnly bcame baldness. she was so freakin baldness that when da sun shindd off her hed, it blinded da birds nd dey fells out of da ski. The blind brds also culdnt swam so dey flouted down de river of titn tears.

1 of de birds passed sacha nd she wuz so hunger that she ated it along wth her potate, but den she had no mer flotation decive. using her extremly dull refkexs she grabbed onto rock. but this creat another isue. Da rock wuz in da middle of da stream!

Ereone got stuck behind rock nd dey started tol sqeeze together, dey sqeeze together so much that the sudnly turnd into to one big titn!

Howevr, all da terd graders, annieiei, boerthole, nd reiner, new how tah avoid da situa nd dey jumoed out of da way.

Now there where too titan's! Teacher Levy came a'runnin outside to see the titns fighitn in the quartyard. He wsa wearin 3d manuver gear nd he had some extra for Mikasa.

"Yo, ackerman, take this," he say as he tossed it to her. "We gon to kill the titans rite now."

but Mickasa didnt want to bc one of d Titans was her friend/brother and she rlly liked him. "mister ravioli, i dont wana do this to eren bc hes my best friedn."

At dis pint neithr of dem had noticd dat Anieie, Berthol Nd Reindeer were still human. De 3 terd gr8ers took dis opertunitah to turn int to TITN!

NOW DER WERE 5 TITN!

Deys all bout to fight when Anenei titan, Bert titan, Reiner titan, nd Eren titan relished dey didn't kno wat de other titns name wuz. Dey decided to calls him Don Pedro.

As soon as dey had decided upon deciding this, dey commenced to fite.

**A/N: H****ey so here's the update you all have been waiting for! The main point of this chapter was to paint a literary picture of how the humans/titan-shifters and nature would visually react to Eren transforming into a Titan. I also wanted to further develop the complex relationship between Levi and Mikasa, as well as the one between Annie, Reiner, and Bertholdt. Stay tuned for the next chapter!**


	5. Fightin' Titans

**Without further ado, I present to you Chapter 5 of Titan Elementary. To all the people who have stuck with this story since day one: thanks! You the real MVPs.**

The Eran titan punchd the big don pedro titonn in THE FAEC. Don Pedro titn stumbled back in the force of the hit but don pedro flyed forward to eren titan and headbuttid him. Titan ERen made a loud scream and lowered down onto 1 knee nd covere his stomach in PAyNe.

Misaka moved hre neCK forwards rlly far in dramatic. "EREN DAIJOBUDESUKA?!" But like erin obviously couldnt talk back to her bc he was TITN so he just roar to her in reply. She turned up to Levy nd say "Mr. ravioli wht r we gonna do to help eren get out of payn?"

Levi firmly graspsps his 3dmg gear sord and charged to Don Pedro. HE slice don Padrio neck andthat slice made don pidro fall and not die (it wouldve been rlly bad if Levi killed all those students lol). The kindregredners kinda just fell on the side of the stream and they were asleepin. He made gesture to Mikasa and she geared herself over to levi.

Meanwhiles as the kidnergradnersd were sleepin, Ern notice that der were to othr titns. 1 was a woman wid a big bootah, another was rlly big like he was 50 tall, nd de last 1 had armer on it.

When ern say the things he had just saw, he went even more crzy den he wux b4. He titn dergn ROARD agin nd dis time it was so strong, dat it blowed all de armer off de armered titn. de armer was goin much fast nd dey hit de sleepin kindergratners.

"OH NOOOOO" yelled the raviollie. "NOW I WONT GET PAID FOR WATCHIN THESE shITTY BRATS"

de kindergratners flew accross de playgrund nd hit the wall surrinding de playgrund. dey all slowly slid of de wall nd in2 de river of titn ters once agin.

One of the armer on the Aurmored titan floated in the titan tear stream and the kids floated in stream and floated down the streame and the stream took them to the end of the stream. At the end o the stream was nothing at all and the armour boat just crashed onto land.

Since Levi was so anger that he went to erin titna adn SLYCED HIm! Well, he sluiced his neck n lil eren fell out da titn body n landed in some grass. Lil eren was not conshus when he land on the ground bc he hit his head on the grass.

"ERIN!" Miskaos yell in distress as she rushe over to the ern. ERen regaind his conciousnus nd look at mikas in weaknes.

Ernin cough in pained. "Miakska," he sayd drammaticly, "Im in paIN! UGH HELP ME IM ahuRtin man help a brotha out mikas, help a brotha out.." he fell asleep agin in her arm.

Levi put 3dmgear away and look at the childs. then amrn run up to his fernds nd say "Ayy r u guys okey?"

"Arm where tf was u!" MikAS screammed in ANGRE!

Armin didnt kno wht to say tho. "I...uh idk dont wory bout it mikaser lets help erni and get him sum medical attention."

"ok" say mikasa and she and armen carryd the sleepin eren to the nures hanji official wen dey got der, the oficial hange wasnt threr!

where had the hange gone? no one known.

However comma miska wuz so woryd bout Ern dat she decided to bandage ern up. she 1st had 2 cleen the wunds. She then reechd ofer 4 the botl of hydrogen peroxide nd begin 2 dab it on erns wunds. However, when she furthr examind the botl, she saw tht it wsnt hydrogen peroxide.

IT WUZ CUROOSIVE ACCCID!

she turnd back to ern nd saw that his skin was burnn off. in response to this, eren turnd back in2 a titn. cept this tyme

HE WUS INSID THE SKOOL!

**A/N: What's going to happen to Eren? You shall soon know in the next chapter.**


	6. The Ultimate Titan

**A/N: Hey, sorry it took so long to get this update out. School is just so time consuming! Anywho, enjoy the chapter!**

Miska nd Arm stepd back as Ern trensfermd in2 a titn. He got soo big dat e begn to brek the rum. He brokd the rum so bad, dat de celin cavd in nd Arm nd Miska almost got squishied. Ern raored in ANgR nd PaYNE.

His head bustd out the top of da building nd he lookd acrus the feild. He culdnt be lieve wat he saw. The Berthole, Anneiei, nd Reindeer titns has RetUrnD!

Ern wuz so angr that he began to cri agin cuz he didnt kno how 2 contrul his emotin. the tears were evn BIgeR this tyme. they wer so big dat they began to flud the heath rum. Miska nd arm had to gt out FAST. dey swam to de door nd opend it. once it wux opend, the watr flooded out of the rum nd took thm w/ it. de tears evntualy joind up with the oter rivr of tears, nd Miska nd Arm saild down de river into de otro kinderbrats.

Meanwhiles, ern had begun two run twowards the terd grad titns. However comma the health rum was in de middle of de skool. So, to get to the oter titns, ern wux running thru the skool! He wuz tearin up a big path in da skool nd while he wux runnin, he wus steppin on other chillinses. When he finally made it to the titns, he climd on top of de skool and jumpd onto the armord titn.

BUT ThE ArmOr WuZ two HaRd!

Ern stubd his toe on de Amor nd dis causd his toenail to fly off. It flew acros de field n hit Armn nd Miska in da face. Dis caused dem to fly intow a wall, nd slowly slide down it.

The kiddies wer in serius pain rn. Espeshaly Armin. "Msiaks", he whisper to mikasa, "halp me pls im ahurtin real bad ri now."

but mikcas was too busy worryin bout Her Eenren. How wsa she spossed to tie his toe up in gauze when it was that BIG? How?! Thas it! she couldnt not te his hurtin toe w/ the gauze bc she did not have enuf gauze to wrap around his gigantac titin wound. "O no Ern, however shall i rescue/save you from the dangers of these other ravenus titnas?" she say to herself, just loud enuf for aermin to heer.

Armin was stil in lotsa pain. "MIKAS PLS" he beg in bigger pain.

"nAY NAY ARMN," she roar as she take out her giant box cutter swords and charged toward three'd grad titins!~

Miska began to thre-d mnvr herslf to the titns but she was hit in the faice w/ a wilde Jean. He was flyn thru de air on sum thre-d mnvring gear he stoled frum raviolli heicho~. He con tinued to flyd thru the air untill he came to a stahp in frunt of erns big toe.

_What is this thing that i see? what is this thing in front of me? _thot Jean. he took out his box cutter nd pokked da object in frunt of him. When he did, it burst into confettis nd it was erewhere. De big explosion wuz so big dat it sent the Jean flyn. as he wux flyn he yelled, "Curse u Jaeger Bombastic!"

Jaeger Bombastic stood up cuz now he culd since his toe wasnt big nymore. He saw a de titns nd remeber that he must KilL aLl ThE TiTNs! He bgn to try to trnsferm nto titn ferm. He bitted his thmb but nuttin happen. He bit it agn nd agn but still nttin happen. Ern didnt no what to do. He had a massive

CONFUSION

Ern wuz n emutinly unstble child nd didnt kno how to dealt w/ lyfe so he strted to cry. He crid nd crid nd eventuly he strted to run out of watr. Miskas come over to him nd say

"Ern u gots to stahp cryn er ur not gonna have no mer water" dis make de JaEGer bOMBAstic cry even more!

Sloly he strtd to dry up ntill he was no longr de JAeger BOMBAstic he was de JAeGer JerkY. No one new wht tah do. De Ern wuz gon, how wer dey Gonna beat de titns?

At dis qeurstion, the wilde Jean appeard agin nd Yelled, "Never Fear, Jean is Hear!" butt no one crd bout him so dey kicked him out of de plygrund. As ereone was sad in the defeats Levi Heicho~ shwd up nd said, "Shaddup ya shitty brats, I kno what to do."  
The Heicho~ bit his own jtumb nd turnd into the most ULtImAte TitN EvR. He was de RaViollE TitN!

**A/N: Will Eren return? What will the Ravioli Titan do? Find out on the next chapter of Titan Elementary!**


	7. Italian Food

Efveryone was rlly surprise at the Italian pasta Titn (raviolle) bc they didnt think he could turn into an titan. His titan figuress was much differ from the othr titne bodys. The norml titn body was approx. thirty meter talll, but the Levi titan was about twenty meters tall (yknow, becos levi is so short lol). Even thho levi titn was short, he was hellas STRONG. he had a black bowl cut on his head and his thigh anc calf muscles were very

WELL-DEFINED.

He pulled long stick education pointr out of his back pocket and startd beating the terd greders w/ it. "Ya'll shity brats needa lern ur place," he scream as he lashd his stick agains the birtholet titns' back of neck area.

Berthol was in alot of hurt rn bc the stick stung his neck. Bc of this, he turnd back into human form. When he was back in humn ferm he sterted to cri bc the booboo on his nek hurt w/ max PAyNe. He turnd round to see wht had cuzed the boobo nd saw the RaVIOole titn. We he sawd this titn he strtd to laph. He laphd so hurd tht he farted nd it stank w/ max StENcH. He wuz laphin bc the titn that hit him wuz so friggn short. He turnd back into titn ferm nd said to the levi titn, "Lol ur short."

Dis made the levi mad. He roard w/ max AngR. He turnd round nd faced the butthole titn nd lookd him dead in the I. He then liftd up his leg nd kikd the buthole titn with max fabulous. He kikcd mhim nd the mouth nd the stmache. Each time hje kikd his legs seemd to extend. His form was faboulessness perfection. His kicks wer majestic, liker a horse galloping n slowley motion.

The butthole titn was sp impressiond by ths kicks that he forgot that he was in max PaYnE.

Levi lost himself in the butteful kicks he was givn that he didnt notice thT the Bert was bleedin. One of the bloods spltters flew ovr nd lnded on Levis cheek. He stopped his majesty kiks nd stood ther still. He had a massive

FeAR.

He then strtd to screm nd crii bc he was a DrtY bOY. He immedily pulld his hankerchif out oof front shrt pockt nd vigurusly wipped his face w/ it. Whil he wa s wipun up his face, the anny titn came ovr nd pNCHD HIM IN TH FACEE!

But the levy titn was too fast-quick fr her. HE MOvdeD his face out th way nd left the hanker_napkin in its place so all annie punChDe was the HANKEercheef! Lvei then jupm in th air w/ much graece nd desended w/ his foot in annies stoopid face! Ani fel on th griund right next to miskasa nd she didnt move bc she was ahurintin rel bad atm.

Miska thot "how the heck is teachr levi a titn did he taek the NEeedl?!"

nd Annei titn glard at th lev-teacher-heicho titn nd qwietly sed at him "gosh darn it" Ooh but she shouldnt'a sed tht at hm bc lveiy titn dont liek da baed werd.

he lookd at hreer w/ much ANgrer nd razd his stik abuev the titn annei bodi nd sed "y U gotstsa Use eTHe bADE wOrSD"?!" Nd wiht that, he brot th teach-stik down upon th Anneuri nd causd hre grate HUrt by doin so. He hit her w it agin n agin n agen until shi retunrd to human terd grad forme.

he was bout to hit hre agean but al of suddn Reinr titn grab his teacheer-stick from behidn n glARE at HIM. "leaf anneir alone u dumb techr." rhienr titn told at levi.

'Lvei intn JUMpd bak in hap and reply "how DRARE u, u terd grAER? Im goning to pnish u."  
"Nuh uh" reiner titn say back in reply. "Not whn im in me FINLAL FOMRME!" nd w/ tht, reinr tranforme into his final REINDEER REINER TITAN FORM!


End file.
